Whew, it has been one of those days. Nine minutes until a new one. I know mama said there'd be days like this but really....
I don't know, just when it seems that things might settle...
Well, it actually started kinda sweet. To explain, I must digress just a little.
How many of you wake up with a song in your head every morning? Me neither, but Jamie does. He finally started sharing with me maybe a year or so ago about this phenomenon. It is one of my favorite parts of the day now. I get up, get the kids breakfast and then check my email to see what the SOTM is. He originally started emailing them to me at work last year and I would check it on my break. He gets to work, gets settled and searches for his song on YouTube, then emails it to me. His songs are completely random. I think the most hilarious one was a Taylor Dane song, followed by a cheesy Michael Jackson one (He is not a fan of MJ.) One morning it was a children's bible song and another morning it was Free by Zac Brown Band. That one was funny because he said he woke up singing, "No, we don't have a lot of money. No, we don't have a lot of money." That one is pretty typical of my very typical CPA hubbie. Any way the song of the morning this morning was You Deliver Me by Selah. Why is that so sweet? Well a while back we discovered that Eli's name is embedded in the word believe. Then yesterday Jamie was thinking about that and also realized that his name is embedded in deliver. Then add the song of the morning into the equation. Well, I've said before...I believe God gives us signs. This was nothing short of a sign.
So, I started out my day with that story, which was really sweet. Then, I don't know, maybe I am just overly tired from lack of sleep. It just seems I have been weepy the last couple of days.
My sweet little LR slapped the icing on the cake for me tonight. Jamie was pulling the quarter round up in the dining room and had it laying in the middle of the floor. He had already asked me to make sure she did not come near it, because it had nails sticking out of it. Well as a three year old can be sneaky from time to time, especially when you tell them to not do something. I turned my back and when I looked up she was in the room and headed for the nails. I scolded her and got her out. Then, I told her that those nails would hurt her and if she got one stuck in her she might have to go to the hospital. Without missing a beat, she headed straight back to the quarter round, grinning from ear to ear, and said, "cause I can go to the hospital and get Eli." That broke me. I cry as I type this. She really, really does think that we left him at the hospital. Her three year old mind just can not reason out why we won't go and get him. I can't help but feel utterly broken in two, knowing that is where her mind takes her. Knowing that she thinks we left him and won't go get him. I really can't figure it. She will tell you he is in heaven. So, I wonder if she thinks heaven and the hospital are the same place. The reasonable part of me tells me that she is only three and she will learn as she grows. The other parts of me scream that I can not stand for her to think we would actually walk away from him and leave him. Does she think we are going to leave her one day? Probably not..hopefully not...dear Lord, I pray she does not think that.
31For the LORD will not cast off for ever:
32But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies.
33For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
For a little lightheartedness: If you wake up with a song of the morning, what was your most recent song? Was it something you heard recently or just a random song?