Let me just preface the thoughts that I am going to share here tonight with one statement.
I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER!
I have seen firsthand these past several months evidence to support my belief.
We had a guest preacher at church Sunday night and my thoughts have been whirling since. This preacher gave his testimony, which was a true testament to God's awesome provisions in his life. In summary, he shared about being called to preach and the sacrifices he made all the while having faith that God would provide for him. He shared many examples of times when he and his family were in need and those needs were met unexplained by any other supernatural force than God Himself. It was impressive to say the least. While it was impressive there were some things he expounded upon concerning his beliefs that I just have a hard time with.
What I am really having a hard time with is the notion that if we name it, claim it, and tag it, we can take it home. What happens when what we name, claim, and tag is not part of God's perfect plan for our lives?
Maybe someone can give me more insight on this. I think that perhaps He answers our prayers in different ways.
Where am I coming from on this?
Well, November 30, 2009 I began praying and seeking God's face like I never have before. I believed. I had faith. I knew that God possessed(es) the power to reach in and heal Eli's kidneys. There was never a doubt in my mind about that. I prayed, I begged, I named it and claimed it. I even tagged it, but I didn't get to take it home. It was not His will. Until my child drew his last breath, I had faith that God could and would let me keep my child. All along there were signs leading me to the forgone conclusion that I would not have my prayers answered like I wanted them to be. I KNOW that prayers were and are answered. I know that God has gently carried my family through this storm and will continue to. But, it is still not what I prayed for.
Well according to the preacher Sunday night, I just was not either faithful enough, righteous enough, or both. He basically said that all of his prayers were answered because he had an unwavering faith in God and he was living for God. He was following whole-heartedly in God's will for his life. That is why God has made provisions for his family and continues to. I left church upset, thinking that maybe, I am not caring for Eli today because somehow I am out of the will of God. It has really bothered me.
Jamie and I have said all along that if God was not going to leave Eli with us, or even if He was, we wanted this situation to bring glory to God. We have been adamant about that. I fully believe that God has and will use my little guy to further His kingdom. I believe that there is something special waiting around the other bend, and that is why God called him home after his brief life here. I believe that God is allowing us to go through this tribulation for reasons unbeknown to us.
I do not believe that I did not have enough faith or was not persistent enough in seeking His face, so He left my prayers for earthly healing unanswered. I am a sinner saved by the merciful grace of God. I am not perfect, but I do not believe that is a prerequisite for answered prayers either. If that were so even those prayers of that preacher would be left unanswered, because we all sin. It just seamed to me that this man was saying that because he lives right and is a faithful child of God, his prayers get answered. That just does not sit well with me at all. Maybe I misconstrued his message. It has caused a whirligig in my already restless mind.
So, what can I do in this instance but turn to the only infallible authority I have on this issue. In my search for answers and peace about this, this is where God led me.
13Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulations for you, which is your glory,
14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
So there you have it...
And to answer that question that has been on your mind the entire time you have been reading this post...
A whirligig is an object that spins or whirls, or has whirling parts. This answer is brought to you by the very fallible authority Wikipedia.