Thursday, April 22, 2010

Two months in the arms of Jesus

Today marks Eli's two month anniversary in Heaven. While these have been the most difficult two months of my life, I imagine that Eli is having a grand time.  When I picture him, it seems to be as a toddler.  Not sure why that is...I just picture him climbing trees, running around, playing ball, and doing the things that little boys do.  He left me as a baby, so I do not know why my thoughts take me where they do. I know what Jay, Cooper and Lucie Rose do on a daily basis and I love watching them grow.  I love the growing up process (for the most part). It can be bumpy from time to time. I can only imagine what Eli is doing on a daily basis, so I let my imagination run wild.  I imagine that he likes to read, as my other children have all liked books. Wonder what one reads in Heaven? I imagine that he likes a good practical joke (he is after all part Floyd, and his Granddaddy Floyd, uncle Ray Wilkes, and cousin Mitch are there with him). Floyds are known for their love of pulling a good one on someone. I imagine that he does not rest very much.  Why would he need to? His little body is now perfect! I have daydreamed so often about him.  I bet he likes to swing and have grand adventures. Imagine the adventures to be had in Heaven.  I bet he likes the beach! He went there before he was born.  I bet he swims in the purest ocean and jumps the highest waves.  He does not have to worry about sunburn or clouds stealing his fun. Wonder how many snow balls he has thrown? I wonder if he has gone to the beach and had a snowball fight in the same day? I have so many questions that I know he will answer for me one day.  Heaven is so very sweet tonight!
I also wanted to share a "wink" from God with you.  I have always loved tulips. They are just simple and beautiful to me.  My amazing sister and her amazing husband sent us flowers Friday.  They were just gorgeous!  There were jade roses, lilies, daisies, and tulips in the arrangement. We all know that over time cut flowers wilt and die. I noticed maybe Sunday that the tulips were taller than they were Friday.  Again on Monday, I noticed they were even taller. While the other flowers were dying, the tulips continued to grow.
Friday when I received the flowers the Tulips were even with all of the other flowers. Tulips are unique in that they will continue to grow once they have been cut. They will grow for a few days as long as they have water and light. They generally grow toward the strongest light.

Those tulips began as any other flower. A seed. Someone took that seed, planted it, and tenderly cared for it until it matured to the point that it was cut. Once cut from their lifeline, the roots, they began to die. Yet they are still beautiful and continue to grow.  Those tulips had a purpose.  Their purpose was to be put into a beautiful arrangement of flowers to bring joy to my family. They fullfilled their purpose and will to continue to long after they are gone.
You know, my sweet little Eli was only here for a few brief minutes. He grew in my belly for 32 weeks. We tenderly loved him while he was growing. Once he was born, he had fullfilled the purpose for which God sent him. I have no doubts that he is absolutey beautiful in Heaven and will continue to prosper there. He brought such that will last a lifetime. He "grew" toward the stongest light. God.
1 John 1:5
5This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
In my quest to discover what I could about tulips this week, I also discovered that they have a very unique meaning.  Tulip means perfect love. A Journey of Perfect Love...What an amazing wink from God on this two month anniversary.

Make sure to take a peek at Eli's name gallery.  I have added some photographs. You can find it on the sidebar. If anyone else would like to send pictures for the gallery, I would love to add them. 
Much love,


  1. Hi Jennifer.
    I was praying for you all day yesterday, knowing that it was Eli's 2 month anniversary.
    I wanted to share with you a verse that I have bookmarked in my Bible with Eli's name written next to it. This year, I'm reading through the Amplified Bible and enjoying seeing the nuances of the Greek and Hebrew language expressed in the translation. In Luke 20:36 Jesus is addressing the Sadducees who were trying to trip him up on a resurrection question when they asked about the hypothetical situation of a woman marrying each of 7 brothers. When addressing life in the resurrection, Jesus said "For they cannot die again, but they are angel-like and equal to angels. And being sons of and sharers in the resurrection, they are sons of God." When I read that (not long after Eli's home going), I thought it was precious, reread it over and over again, and put Eli's name next to it. Thought you might enjoy that verse as you picture him in heaven with Jesus.
    Love you!

  2. How beautiful! I love that wink! I imagine Hannah a toddler, too, for some reason. I picture her around 1.5, happy and running, sun shining in her hair--pure love surrounding her. Lots of love to you. xxx

  3. Thinking of you today. I love the tulip reminds me of the dragonfly story told by Sherry Burgess. That sweet boy has lots of angels to have adventures with- I can only imagine what they are up to! Hope you are having a good week...would love to try to get together with you when school gets out maybe for lunch one day. Kelly

  4. Hi Jennifer,

    Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it. I am sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could do.

    love and prayers

  5. Praying God's continued comfort and sufficient grace for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your precious Eli with us...

  6. I just read the beginning of Eli's story...and wanted to share that my son Thomas died six hours after birth from Potter's can read our family's story and about our ministry at and on our blog page. We also offer an online grief support blog (Walking With You) and other support materials. We do not charge families for our products or if there is anything we can do, please feel free to email me. You have such a beautiful family...and I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy.

    I can tell from reading your blog that you know of God's comfort and that He will carry you...praying for you as you continue to trust in Him, even as you walk this difficult path.

    In His Grace,
    Kelly Gerken