Before I get into my post, I would like to ask for prayer once again. I had the opportunity to visit an incomplete family today. It broke my heart because I know where these people are right now. Please pray for Angi and Jim Smith. They had to say goodbye to their baby girl Ella before they even said hello this Monday. Ella was born sleeping this Monday and her mommy and daddy are reeling and in shock. Please pray for this family.
Next, I would like to say thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the prayers that you said for us today and for the comments that were left on both my blog and facebook. God is good ALL of the time and sometimes he gives us balm for our broken hearts and spirits. He always carries us when we can't make it. He is just good ALL of the time!
Today was a rainy and drizzly day. It was cold and just one of those days in general. We were not looking forward to driving 2 1/2 hours in nasty weather. Jamie and I both have been restless, sleepless, and just in knots about the reason for our visit to Birmingham today. Well I have to say that in spite of all of the rain and drizzle, God sent us a rainbow today. We decided to give this rainbow a name. I bet you didn't know that rainbows could be a specific gender, much less have a name. Well our rainbow is a girl and her name is Amelia Claire Hill (her name is another blog later to come).
Jamie and I found out about 13 weeks ago that we were expecting another baby. This came as a complete and utter surprise to us. We were just not sure that we wanted anymore children. We both felt that we could never again go through another loss. Our hearts and souls were just too vulnerable. God had different plans for us, as He normally does when we make our minds up without Him. I will not lie and say that these weeks have been easy. They have been very difficult. We told no one of this and finally two weeks ago we told our families. This is my fifth child and well the waist line expands more and more quickly with each one. I will be 17 weeks this Friday. It had been extremely difficult to blog while keeping this information under wraps.
Our precious Amelia Claire will never, ever replace Eli. He will live in our hearts and be a part of our family forever. Amelia is another extension of our family. While we are more relieved than we have been in four months, we will only rest easy when our baby girl is here and in our arms. We are taking nothing for granted. While hopefully, Amelia will fill our arms and fill her place in our hearts, lives and family...she will never fill the hole left from the death of our precious son Eli. His spot in our hearts, lives, and family is sealed and impenetrable. It is his. While lamenting one night about how a new baby would ever fit in to our family and heart, Jamie told me this.
"Each time we became pregnant after having Jay, we wondered how we could love another child as much as the other. Each time our heart has grown to find room. Our hearts did not shrink after Eli and it will grow again to find room for a new baby."
Well today we went for our level II ultrasound and the doctor looked at this baby from head to toe and declared her kidneys to be "a textbook picture" of what they should be. I had been waiting to exhale and in that moment I was able to. I am not naive enough to think that she is ours forever but she is with us now and healthy! All praise be to God!!!! This was actually our fourth ultrasound but it was the "one".
So once again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the prayers and comments. Please continue to pray for a smooth and boring pregnancy for our family. God bless you my friends!
If there is any question in your mind about whether or not God's ways are above ours, well know this. Amelia is due to arrive April 16, which is the same exact date that Eli was due (only one year later). I promise you, I would never have planned anything of the such.
BTW, If you were wondering (as was Jamie), Roy G. Biv is a mnemonic for the colors of a rainbow. (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.)