I know I have not been diligent about blogging lately. I promise it is not that I do not feel the need to come to my blog anymore. It is quite the opposite. I have spent some time lately reading through my blog and reflecting on my feelings and state of mind at particular points during this last year. Eli's journey began August of last year and it will never end. Each day here lately has held some special memories of my precious little boy. I miss him terribly. No matter the circumstances, that will never change. It was this time last year when I first began feeling him move around in my belly. I simply loved to feel him move. This time last year, I was unaware of the turns our lives would take in the months to come. I have forever been changed because of those events. I do not see life through rose colored glasses anymore. I am living the heartache that life can sometimes be. The reality that just around the corner life could change...the reality that God gives and He takes away...the reality that sometimes in order to spend time with your children, you have to sit at a cold gravestone and talk to the air...all of these things I used to take for granted. No more.
I have a heavy and scared heart tonight. I would appreciate your prayers for Jamie and I on Wednesday. We have a very important appointment at 12:40, Wednesday. We have both found ourselves sleepless and restless in the last few days. I know this is a short post and hopefully later on this week I will post a longer blog. I just needed to ask for prayer tonight.