One of my friends on Facebook began posting a thanksgiving journal as her status everyday for the month of November. I thought this was a really great idea and I jumped on board. Thus began my journal of thanksgiving. There is so much in life to give thanks for. Some people have questioned me as to how I could give thanks to a God that allowed my son to die...a God that took my son from me. Well I guess I have a little different view on that. I know my son is not here...he died. I know that and it hurts...EVERYDAY! I also know that I got to be the mother of one of the most amazing little fighters ever. What if I had never gotten pregnant with him? What if God had chosen not to give me that precious little boy? That thought is inconceivable to me. The truth is, life might be easier than it is now. Then again who knows? I would not be the person I am now, that is for sure. I more than likely would not be carrying our precious rainbow in my belly. Eli was...is a gift in every way. I am better for having given him life. I am a different person because of his life and death. He gave all that he had and I am thankful for all he gave. God certainly used him to show me that he still works miracles.
I am thankful for this life God has blessed me with. I am thankful that I am the wife of the most wonderful man. I am thankful that I am the mother of five. I am thankful for so much. God is good all the time!
Next Tuesday, November 30, will be a year...an entire year since our lives changed. That day is so fresh in my mind. I look back and think that life changed for us on that day, but I had no idea how much it really would change in the months to come. I think back to this time last year and how ignorant I was of what was to come. I am determined to make this holiday season a happy time for my family. Yes, for me it is sad in many ways, but it is happy also. I think that Eli should be here right now...then I stop and think, No, he shouldn't. It was never in God's plans for us to have him here for a long time. That is a hard pill to swallow, but it is what it is. Life is what it is. I refuse to be angry with God for that. Instead, I choose to thank Him for what He has given us, because in all truth...He has blessed us beyond all measure...
Happy Thanksgiving to All! It is my prayer everyone has an abundance to thank Him for also!