Merry Christmas Sweet Baby Boy!

What do you get a baby for Christmas? What do you get a baby for Christmas when they are no longer here?
I LOVE shopping for Christmas gifts for my children! It is so much fun for Jamie and I to put our heads together and figure out what we are going to give them. Better still is taking them shopping for each other. It is really sweet to see the thought the boys put in to gifts for each other. Now, I must admit those little shopping trips are usually done at the last minute, but this year Cooper has already been perusing the toy isles at Wally World for Jay a present. I think he has a pretty good idea what he is getting Jay. We just have to go get it.
This year shopping is much more bittersweet than any other year. We still have enjoyed shopping for the kids. I just feel at a loss where Eli is concerned.  I want so badly to be buying for him too. I want so badly to take him for his first picture with Santa. I want to buy him a baby's first Christmas sleeper. Instead, I just dream...
 

Today, we went to the cemetary and put a Christmas tree by Eli's grave. We took the kiddos and helped them each pick out an ornament to put on the tree. Jamie and I picked out a special ornament also. Penny, who's story you can read by clicking on her name, shared this idea a couple of weeks ago. The boys had a wonderful time picking our their ornaments to give Eli.  Lucie Rose was so cute, she wanted to carry her ornament and had to write her own message to Eli on the back. We let each of them put their ornament on the tree.

We placed a bow on the top because Eli is our gift.

Jay chose a deer because he loves hunting and thought Eli would also.

Cooper chose a Santa ornament because it reminded him of ornaments on our tree at home.

Lucie Rose chose Buzz Lightyear because she just knows it would be Eli's favorite.

Jamie and I chose a Snoopy ornament because when Jamie was a small boy he had Snoopy ornaments.

We put Jamie's Snoopy ornaments on our tree every year.

We chose a baby blue tree simply because it just fits for our baby boy. It felt good to be able to do something for him. We have passed along to others that anyone can put an ornament on Eli's tree. I also plan on making all of my sweeties matching stockings this year.  I want Eli included in every way. I want him here, but I know that can't happen. I want things to be different than they are...but I know that is impossible. So...We are making the best of this Christmas season in the best way we know how.

Much love,