To my sweet Eli,
There are no words to express how very much I miss you today. Today you are one year old and I can only imagine the wonderful celebration you are having in Heaven. Your brothers, sister and I are going to make you a birthday cake today. The selfish parts of me wish that you were here to play in your first cake and enjoy our love for you on such a wonderful milestone. Dear Lord, how I long to hold you and kiss you. I know the celebration you are having is unimaginably greater than anything we could do for you here.
You, my sweet little boy, have changed me so much in this last year. You have touched so many. I want you to know how proud I am of you. I count it great joy that I got to carry you in my belly for 32 weeks and then hold your tiny little body as you slipped from this earth. You are and always will be a huge part of this family...my fourth child.
I often sit and dream about what you are doing up in Heaven. I can not even begin to imagine how wonderful it is there. Do you realize that you have been there for a year now, or do you have no concept of time? How many new friends have you made? Does Jesus put you on his lap and tell you stories? I imagine that you are walking and running around in Heaven...but really, I have no idea. So, I am left to dream of you in your Heavenly home...and dream I do. I pray to God every day to tell you how much I love you and miss you. Do you know that you are soon going to be a big brother? How exciting!
I love you little man and I wish you the best first birthday ever! We have a cake to make and balloons to send your way.
Happy Birthday Eli!
I love you more than words,