Sunday, September 11, 2011

The New Normal

It is so hard to believe that ten years ago our country was about to be in the midst of utter chaos.  Little did we know how much our country would change in a very short amount of time.  Death does that doesn't it?  It changes you once it is done shaking you to the core.  Especially death that is not supposed to happen.  Children are not supposed to die before their parents.  Children are not supposed to watch their parents die on television...spouses, siblings, parents, and friends for that matter...heck, the world for that matter.  But we did didn't we?  We watched as thousands perished that day.  Helplessly watching to see people trying to flee what seemed to be hell on earth.  It was horror for sure.  I will never forget it as long as I live...those pictures in my head. 

America changed drastically September 11, 2001.  The way we once lived and the way we now live are not the same.  We now live life with the constant threat of terrorism.  Well, we did before it just was not rated on a scale and made as public.  Awareness,  that is the word.  We are more aware now.  I have not flown since that time.  I have not had the need, but I can imagine that I would be more aware of my surroundings.  I'm sure the thought that this plane could be taken and used as a weapon would be forefront in my mind.  It is the same when I am in very large crowds.  I wonder... Today, while watching a ballgame on television, my dad, Jamie and I were talking.  We all agreed that seeing as how there were over 100,000 people in that stadium it could be a potential target. We never would have thought that ten years and one day ago. 

As a parent who has lost a child, I get the new normal.  You have to learn to live again, almost like a rebirth.  You do it differently than you did before.  Nothing is the same, yet everything is the same, if that makes any sense.  Life goes on and you have to learn to live in that life a changed person.  9/11 changed our country.  Last year was the first time I really made the boys sit down and watch the events of that day.  They were enthralled.  They have since been following the rebuilding of Ground Zero in NY. As beautiful as the new building will be when finished, it will never replace the Twin Towers.  The skyline of New York will never be the same.  It will always be bereft of those buildings, just like all of those families will never get back their loved ones.  The new building will be splendid for sure.  It will bring new hope to a still in mourning. Just like my sweet, beautiful Amelia will never take Eli's place, she has filled a longing and brought so much happiness back into our lives. Our family's skyline will forever miss Eli but something beautiful has come from the pain and bitterness of loss. 

God heals hurts and mends wounds.  Those hurts and wounds change us and make us different people, and over time we learn to live life in our new normal.  I hope you take some time to stop and remember that day ten years ago. 

Much love,

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