A God Send!

I have a story to tell you tonight.  A story about how God puts you where you belong for certain times in your life and allows you to be where you are needed...

A couple of weeks before Eli was born my mama told me about a "girl" (my mama's word) in our small town who was pregnant with a baby who also was having kidney issues.  How could that be? We live in small town USA and that was just unfathomable.  This sweet mama lived on the same street as a friend of mine.  I asked my friend and sure enough...it was true.  The situation for our babies was completely different.  Her son had a blockage that would not allow the fluid to flow through like it should. There were procedures that could be done to correct this though and there was hope that they would bring their son home.  I asked my friend to set up a meeting between us and she did.  We were supposed to get together February 15th but could not because we had snow the week before and she had to make up a missed appointment with her doctor.  We decided to meet on a later date...
Thursday of that week this precious mama went into labor and gave birth to her son, William.  William went to heaven that day...
Sunday, I went into labor and gave birth to my son, Eli.  Eli went to heaven that day...
I had no idea that William had been born and died until the following week.  The day before Eli's funeral, I finally got to talk to William's mommy on the phone.  We talked about our sons and decided to meet sometime the next week. 

Eli was born and died right in the middle of tax season, which is Jamie's super busy time at work since he is a CPA.  Jamie was able to take off one week and one day to be home.  He felt so torn during that time.  He knew he was needed at work, but he also knew he was need more at home and you know...he needed to be able to grieve his son.  His work was just wonderful about this.  They told him to do whatever he needed to do and not worry about work.  He still felt torn...that's just Jamie. So, the Tuesday after Eli's service Jamie decided to return to work for partial days. 
I'll never forget that morning as long as I live...
When Jamie left to take the kiddos to school and go to work, I melted into a puddle in our laundry room.  I felt more lonely than I ever in my life had felt. I felt weak, vulnerable, and just downright awful. I cried like it was the first time I had ever cried.  It was ugly. Jamie called to check on me and I tried with all of my might to be brave and not let him know how terrible I was doing.  I didn't hide much from him.  He called my mama. She called me. I couldn't hold it together anymore. She told me to get a bath and get dressed.  She was coming to get me and take me to work with her.  She owns a tearoom here in town and I could sit in the kitchen or help out or whatever I needed to do.  I told her I was not up to going anywhere.  She told me I didn't have a choice because she was on her way and I'd better be ready.  She totally pulled the "I am you mother and you will do what I say even if your are 36" card on me. I am thankful that she did!
In the midst of all this, my new friend Christi called me.  We decided to get together for lunch that day.  She was going to come up to my mama's place and we would finally meet.  I knew her when she walked in and we embraced like old friends reuniting. We were both in excruciating pain, physically and emotionally. My mama set up one of the dining rooms for us and we sat for hours talking about our boys...our pregnancy... their memorial services.  We talked, we cried, we shared and thus a beautiful friendship...sisterhood was born. 
Our situations were so much alike.  We both had unexpectedly gone into labor and had to be rushed to Montgomery.  We both had emergency c-sections and were put to sleep. We both had beautiful baby boys that I know are playing together in Heaven as I type. I love my friend!
This past year and four months has been more like years.  My sweet friend is moving this week. I am sad...
She gets it...When it was fresh for me...it was fresh for her. We took turns drawing strength from each other.
She is now pregnant with her rainbow baby.  I am beyond happy for her. I am so sad that she will be so far away and I will miss so much with this sweet baby! I so wish that Amelia and her little guy could grow up together.
I'm not good with change.  I'm worse with goodbye.  Christi's hubbie is military so I knew this was coming.  I have just put it out of my mind.  I didn't want to think about it.  It's here now and I am sad!
I know without a doubt that God put them in small town USA for a reason.  He knew what they would face while living here.  He knew that we would need each other.  Not to mention the fact that she has a precious little girl that Lucie Rose adores.
I have not blogged about my friend before because William's story is hers to tell and I did not want to infringe on that.  However, I do feel that William's and Eli's stories are intertwined in a way.  I guess that is how I want to say it...I feel like our boys are at the root of our friendship.
We had a going away party/baby shower this past week for my precious friend and her family. It rained...Then this happened...

Yep, that's a double rainbow. Total God wink!

I am going to miss you like crazy my sweet friend! Good luck and Godspeed!

Much love,

Confessions of a Coffee Snob

Yes, me...a coffee snob.  When you are sleep deprived you drink A LOT of coffee to hang on.  I used to never like coffee especially in the summer months.  Now, well it is a staple. Not just any coffee though...It must be Dunkin Donuts medium roast original of the Whole bean variety.  Let's be specific here...no other will do.  It must be freshly ground on most occasions.  I will drink the Turbo variety if I really need a pick me up and (gasp) it does not come in whole bean.  I mean really...No whole bean??? It is a daily ritual around here for me to eat the beans while the coffee is brewing. We all have our dirty little secrets...This is mine! Shhh, don't tell anyone though. This all started when I was pregnant with Eli.  Yes, I mentioned this to my doctor and dentist.  They were not overly concerned. Therefore, I am not overly concerned. 

I just  never thought I...me...I would be a coffee snob.  Folks,  all coffee is not created equally.  You must try the Dunkin Donuts before you drink one more cup of the other stuff!

There, I got it off my chest.  I feel much better now.

I also wanted to say that I really am missing being able to comment on blogs.  Blogger is acting crazy and will not let me comment.  Does anyone know how I can fix this?

Going to refill my giant coffee mug and feed Amelia her midnight bottle now.

Much love,

The month of May(hem) and an apple!

Okay, not really that bad...just crazy. There were many nights in this last month that we did not eat dinner until 10:00 or 10:30.  Don't judge...I wish it were different, especially considering bedtime for the kiddos is...yes...8:30. I'm not complaining...too much anyway.  Baseball, Whewwwww (sigh), I'm glad the season is over.  At least now we can hopefully get back to some sort of schedule, even if it is a modified summer schedule. The boys both played baseball this season and on different teams. All but two of the games were on weeknights.  One might wonder why not on weekends instead.  Well, I'm right there with you...wondered it out loud several times. Seriously though, the boys had a ball (pun intended).  They were both on great teams and had terrific coaches. Jay's team finished 4th in his league and Coop's team finished 2nd. Although the hours were long and late, I enjoyed being at their games.  Poor Miss Amelia got started right. Two weeks old and at the ball park for her. That was out of necessity with tax season and all. Once tax season was over, I figured, if she can tough it out at two weeks old...we might as well hang on for the rest of ball season.  She really did well.  I'd put that little nugget in the sling and go with it. Now, LR, she really had a blast.  There are little play sets for little kids to play on, complete with red sand and all. LR figured that if she could not make snow angels in the snow then she was gonna improvise and do it in the sand.  Many a night we cleaned red sand out of the bottom of the tub at 10:30 or so...still complaining :)
While baseball has been at the forefront of our existence this past couple of months there have been many other things going on also. Little things you know, like adjusting to a precious nugget of a girl in the house and her sleep schedule...laundry...laundry...laundry...birthdays...more laundry...Mother's day...our 14th anniversary...finishing our first year of homeschooling...and did I mention laundry.  Folks, the laundry, it neeevvveeerrrr ends. And let's not forget the ever present pop tart trails. LR has a serious pop tart addiction. I have a serious pop tart aversion. I'm gonna miss those pop tart trails one day. So, I just clean them up without a cross word (most of the time) and try to remind LR to stay at the table with food. She never does! She eats on the run.
My honey turned 35 this year and three days later we celebrated 14 years of wedded bliss.  I.LOVE.MY HONEY! He is a good fella! We celebrated our anniversary by splitting duties and taking the boys to baseball.  They both had a game at the same time, on opposite sides of town.  Jamie ran in from work, kissed me, told me Happy Anniversary again, grabbed Cooper and LR and ran out the door again.  I ran out the door with Amelia and Jay.  We had chili dogs for our anniversary dinner, at 10:00.  You know what?  That's what it is all about...Family! We did go on a day date this past Saturday.  We both had a really good time, not doing much of anything.  We just were able to relax and talk.  It was great.

The apple of our eyes

This little mama has stolen all of our hearts!  Even LR is warming up quite nicely to her. She is the sweetest, happiest baby girl.  She is extremely laid back and just a golden nugget! She has been sleeping all night now for about three weeks.  Yeee Hawww or as LR says Meeee Hawww!

In this picture she was a fussy little girl and Jay was so proud of himself that he settled her down and got her to sleep.  I overheard him singing a little made up lullaby to her.  It went something like this. 

I'm a little fuss pot

short and stout

here are my lips

and here is my pout!

I had to laugh a little about that one.  All of my kiddos are a hot mess for sure! I love it that way...most days!

In the midst of all of this chaos, I still miss Eli terribly.  I wonder what it would be like with him thrown in the mix.  It is so hard to imagine a toddler running around here to compliment my other sweetlings.  (sigh)

Well that is all I've got for right now, so I'd better sign off and go and prop up the dryer door that is too tired to stay closed on its own! Yes, I am serious about that! The broom handle works quite nicely as a propping tool, I say!

Much love, 

Join Me in Praying for Baby Tate

I know I come to my blog a lot and ask for prayer and I feel totally comfortable doing that.  I feel like those who read my blog are some of the wonderful prayer warriors who prayed for my sweet Eli and my family...are still praying for my family.  Those prayers have meant more to me that I could ever begin to express in words. They have sustained us through some of the darkest days of our lives. I feel like because we asked Him, God gave us a miracle with Eli.  The miracle we saw unfold before our very eyes was not the exact one we asked for but that does not negate the fact that we experienced a true miracle...a great miracle. It is hard to know how to pray sometimes, so we have to just ask God to intercede for us.  We have to ask Him to provide when we do not even know what provisions we need.  He always knows...
Tonight, I ask you to please join me in praying for a precious baby boy named Tate.  Tate is tucked safely in his mommy's tummy for the next couple of days.  He should make his appearance sometime Tuesday.  Tate is a very special little fella who has been diagnosed with Trisomy 18.  You can visit his mom's blog here.  Tate's mom, Cricket, has listed some specific prayer requests that might help you know better how to pray for them. Let's hit our knees for this family my friends. How great would it be to flood Heaven with prayer for sweet baby Tate and his family?

Much love,