My Grandma and Lucie Rose
I got to spend some time talking to my Uncle David Saturday. He is Mitch's dad and also the pastor of Marvin Parkway Baptist Church. The thoughts that I am going to share in this post were shared with me by him.
This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
I have heard that verse time and time again throughout my life and sang the song based on the verse over and over. Never once have I REALLY understood it until Saturday. When you look at it do you think, like me, "Well we should just rejoice because God has given us this day." I do not feel like rejoicing at this particular time in my life! I feel like crying, screaming, anything but rejoicing. Do not get me wrong, I do rejoice when I feel Eli wiggle around. I rejoice when I think of the prospect of holding him in my arms. Then my rejoicing turns to "Why Lord?, Why Eli? Why my family? Why have you chosen this trial for me?". My Uncle David gave me a new perspective where that verse is concerned. He said that he also, in the midst of grief, did not feel like rejoicing at one point in his life and God spoke to him and told him that he did not understand that verse as it is written. He said God told him that verse does not say we are rejoicing right now, but that we WILL rejoice. Hmm....
If God does choose perform a miracle with my precious Eli, I will rejoice and the burden of these last few months will be lifted. And to be honest with you, today, I cannot let my mind go elsewhere. The thought of empty arms is too much...
Please pray with me for God to heal our baby.
Love you much,