Broken and Spilled Out

Broken...It is a word that I use often here lately. 
Purpose...Another word I have used over and over.
Friends...Old and new alike...Wow, just wow.
Why...A word that is never far from my thoughts.

This list could go on and on and all of these words have taken on new meanings these last few months. Especially friends...I have so many wonderful friends, ones that I have always had and ones that I have made because of Eli...some that I have never met in person, some that I have only met a time or two, some that I see on a daily basis. God has so wonderfully used these people to encourage and uplift me during this season in my life. I could sit and write to you all day long about how God has worked through these people.  I am so very thankful for them.
I'll be honest with you, I have really been dreading Mother's Day this year. I know that I have to put on a happy face and deal because of J, C, and LR. I wouldn't dare think of making this day bad for them or spoiling there fun.  I just feel that if I can not celebrate surrounded by all of my children then I do not want to celebrate at all. I feel so selfish and guilty thinking this way. I have prayed for peace and God has been working.

He has been working through my friends. I got an email from a friend that I have made on this journey and she told me of God strongly urging her to pray for me. So she did. Two other friends that I have met on this journey came by my house today and brought the sweetest gifts by. I want to share one of these with you tonight.  My friend Kim brought me the most beautiful hand painted wooden egg.

She has a friend that hand paints these. Along with the EGG, Kim's friend Leanne sent a letter.  I was touched to the core by the EGG and the letter. I know God used these women to speak to me today. EGG stand for Experiencing God's Goodness. I have experienced God's goodness in countless ways on this journey...because He sent Eli. I want to share bits of Leanne's letter with you.  I hope she doesn't mind.  I want to share because I truly feel like she and Kim made a difference for me today.

Leanne shared with me that since and early age art has been a passion for her, as well it should. She is so very talented. She dreamed of being an artist but for "life" reasons her dream got put on a shelf.  She also wrote to me this:

There is something for us to learn through a cracked and broken egg, because in the brokeness of the egg, a baby bird is hatched and there is NEW LIFE.  May the Lord use this EGG as a reminder that through brokeness, He is the Almighty and He can use the broken places of life. I am living proof of this! Your are EGG-stra special! Seek to be BROKEN AND SPILLED OUT FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!

Leanne shared a song that I had to find and listen to immediately after reading her note.  The name of the song is...you guessed it Broken and Spilled Out by Steve Green. It is so beautiful. 

In Judges chapter 7 Gideon and his 300 soldiers are going to battle against the Midianites. God had reduced Gideons forces to just 300, but they were 300 faithful soldiers. God spoke to Gideon through a man and a dream and told him that we would defeat the Midianites. Gideon and his soldiers went into battle with God, trumpets, empty pitchers, and lamps. The lamps were placed inside the clay pitcher to hide their light. Once the soldiers blew their trumpets the clay vessels broke and the light that was hidden inside spilled out. It was in this way that a battle ensued and Gideon defeated his enemies.  Can't you just imagine the looks on Gideon's soldier's faces when he gave them clay pitchers with lights inside? I am sure they wondered why they needed to carry trumpets into battle. But they were faithful and did as instructed. Perhaps we are like those clay pots with lights inside. Perhaps for some of us our lights only shine when our vessels have been shattered. It is my fervent prayer that God's light would shine through my broken vessel. I want to be used of Him, and if this is how he chooses to use me then...through my brokeness may His light spill out.   

Thank you my sweet friends!

Happy Mother's Day to ALL of my friends who are celebrating. To all of my babyloss friends, May God's light spill out of your brokeness!

Much love,