Monday, July 26, 2010

Home is where...

...your heart is. Wow, if that is so, then mine is torn. It is in two places. It is here where my husband and three living children are along with the rest of my family. My heart is also in heaven where my Lord and my baby are. I know that I will be there in a moment...

We are home from vacation! Normally coming home is nice but sad also. Sometimes I think that I could just live at the beach and be a beach bum for...ever. Who does not love the ocean, with it's waves crashing and rolling, and the beautiful sunrise and sunsets?  The beach is God's artwork at its best. Nighttime at the beach is breathtaking... the moon reflecting off of the ocean...watching the waves roll in and wash back out, but not really seeing them.
This trip was was bittersweet. We are different now. There is a constant air of sadness that surrounds us. We do have fun and enjoy ourselves...we did this vacation. The clouds that followed us around this time had nothing to do with the weather. They are ever looming clouds. The "Sonlight" penetrates them and because of His light (love) we are able to move forward and find enjoyment, peace, relaxation.
It was a pleasure to be able to go and take our family away for a week, but it was so nice to pull into the garage in the wee hours of the morning Saturday morning.  Coming home was a relief if that makes any sense.
I think about how good it felt for me to get home Saturday morning then I try to compare it with how it must have felt for Eli when he left us and went to his heavenly home. I imagine there is not much comparison. For me coming home was nice because it meant I got to sleep in my own bed, get back to routines, be in a familiar place, sit on my couch and watch my TV, and just do mundane things like that. I do not think there was much mundane about Eli going home. What could possibly be mundane about looking at the face of Jesus...meeting Paul, Peter, John the Baptist, Abraham, Elijah...being welcomed into heaven by those gone on before...being in a place of perfect peace and rest? Makes me homesick on a whole other level just thinking about it.
These are some pictures that we took our last night at the beach. We tried to make Eli a part of it as much as possible. The teddy bear in the pictures was given to him by my Aunt Beth. We used it along with a monogrammed blanket and flowers on top of his casket at the funeral. It is Eli's bear and is special to us.
This was made with Jay's feet.

I also wanted to update everyone on baby Wyatt. Prayers were answered!! He is now home. He can not be around people and go out in public for a while, but he is home!
Also, I would like to ask for special prayers this week for the Lorang family. Melissa will give birth to Amelia this week and they are not sure how much time they will be given with sweet little Amelia. Please pray that God would give them a safe delivery and provide unending peace.

Psalm 93 1-5
1 The LORD reigns, He is clothed with majesty;
The LORD is clothed,
He has girded Himself with strength.
Surely the world is established, so that it cannot be moved.
2 Your throne is established from of old;
You are from everlasting.
3 The floods have lifted up, O LORD,
The floods have lifted up their voice;
The floods lift up their waves.
4 The LORD on high is mightier
Than the noise of many waters,
Than the mighty waves of the sea.
5 Your testimonies are very sure;
Holiness adorns Your house,
O LORD, forever.

Much love,


  1. Welcome home!!! I was reading in Nancy Guthrie's One Year Book of Hope about how her longing for Heaven is so different now...and I can so relate. I hate that Matthew's death is what has instilled that in me, and not just the joy of Jesus, but I think part of that is the spiritual growth that occurs as He makes beauty from the ashes.

    The pictures were just beautiful!!

  2. I love the pictures! Thank you for sharing them. Many of us can relate to being homesick in a whole different way. I've cried many, many times through Mercy Me's song, "Homesick." I pray that God will give us all the "strength to make it through somehow."

  3. The pictures are absolutely beautiful! Thinking of you.

  4. Love, love, love all the pictures.

    Wishing we had no reason to be different now...

    Glad you had some precious vacation and time as a family (minus one precious little guy already on vacation) :(

    Thanks for the prayer request and Amelia's name in the beach. So thoughtful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Melissa & Amelia

  5. Glad you had a good time at the beach. I love the pictures! The ones with the bear are so precious! I know what you mean about your heart being torn-hugs!

  6. Awesome pictures! I'm glad you guys had such a good time but there is such a relief to be home again. I love that you included Eli in everything!
    saying prayers for the Lorang family today and weeks to come!

  7. I love the beach! I love that the butterfly picture was made with his feet, how precious is that :)!

    My heart is torn too as it is in two places at once. I was just talking about this yesterday with a coworker that I can not be sad for Lilly because I know that she is in Heaven and that is the best place to be.

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful pictures! You have a beautiful family, and I am glad that you all were able to enjoy yourselves.

    I am definitely keeping the Lorang family in my prayers.