Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Much needed vacation

We are finally here. I did not think July 18 would ever come. I heart the beach! It has always been my favorite place. There is peace to be found here. When we received Eli's diagnosis, one of the first things we wanted to do was go to the beach. I wanted him to experience it. A couple of weekends later we went for a day trip. Although it was in the middle of winter, it was still beautiful.
As I type right now, I am sitting by the door just steps from one of the most serene places on earth. The beaches of Fort Morgan, Alabama. Fort Morgan is a pretty secluded peninsula about thirty miles from Gulf Shores. This is where we vacation every year and it never gets old. We look forward to it all year long. This year, we were looking forward to introducing a baby to this little slice of heaven. Instead, he got the whole pie. Jamie reminded me yesterday while we were packing the car that we actually talked about needing to purchase a cargo carrier for our vehicle to make room for Eli and all of the things a baby needs in the car. Just like we did not purchase bedding, diapers, formula, new bottles and other necessary baby items, we never purchased a cargo carrier either.
 This is a very bittersweet vacation. I am sad that I could not share this time with him. I am sad that we did not have to come in from the beach for nap time. I am sad that there is no play pen in our bedroom. I am sad that I did not get to pick out a cute little bathing suit and sun hat for Eli. There was a couple at the pool today that had their six month old in the water. Eli would be a few days shy of five months. There was no comparing baby stories or introducing our little ones. It made me sad.
As I sat on the beach today watching the kiddos play and enjoy the sand, I closed my eyes and let the sound of the crashing waves, the wind blowing to and fro, and the sun that played peek a boo wash over me. I wasn't worried about them in the water because the tar balls pretty much kept us out of the water. So, the boys played Frisbee, baseball, and football, while LR was completely content to play in her huge sand box. I was actually able to relax my mind for a little while today. When I closed my eyes on the beach, I did not think of anything other than the sound of those waves crashing in on the shore. I am not sure why that sound is so peaceful to me, but it is. This is a place of solace, healing, and so much beauty. Even as the oil threatens to tarnish the pristine white sand and keeps us from swimming, I am comforted by one of God's most beautiful creations. So tomorrow, I will go back out and enjoy our little slice of heaven, all the while knowing that Eli is enjoying ALL of heaven.

Please remember to pray for baby Wyatt. He is improving. He is still in the NICU but has been taken completely off of the vent and the feeding tube has been removed. He is still on oxygen but his lungs appear to be clear of any infection. All praise be to God!
Much love,


  1. I hope you enjoy your vacation, Jennifer. Lots of love to you xoxo

  2. Oh, I love, love, love the beach too...I really imagine Heaven is mostly beachy!!! Enjoy your vacation!

  3. I am sad for you too, but I know he is with you all in spirit. Have a wonderful time, and I will continue to pray for Wyatt.

  4. I hope you have a great trip! I love the beach too. I know that it is bittersweet for you. Still praying for Wyatt.

  5. Glad you are having a great trip! enjoy it!!!

  6. I hope you feel invigorated by your vacation. I have to say that I felt the same way as you did on vacation. I was thinking about how it was supposed to be so different because we were supposed to have another baby with us..I do think it was a good trip for my family though because we were able to reconnect in ways that we haven't been able to in months because of my emotional distance..I hope the beach was as comforting to you as the mountains were to me. I am a mountain girl..:)